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Why is it always RED paint that gets spilled on the street? I mean, I see white paint spilled once in a while, but it's almost always red paint. And...I just...I want to know why. WHY? What it is about red that is so...spillable? And what makes, like, KHAKI so safe and able to stay in its can??
Just...curious.
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Isn't it hysTERICAL how TMZ looooves to insert repeated [sic] notations when quoting a celebrity and/or said celebrity's atrocious writing, clearly patting themselves on the back for being oh-so-much smarter? And yet...theirs is some of the worst writing, spelling, and grammar in the "news" world I've ever seen.
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As though the previous entry's Curious George Incident wasn't enough, the man kept it going...
George: *emission that sounds oddly similar to....* "~~braapppp~~"
Gracie: "Sigh"
George: "Shooot the NON-FARTER!"
Gracie: *Stares. Cannot believe he's still ON this*
George: "Seriously."
Gracie: *Yells* THEY WILL NEVER CLONE YOU!!!
George: "Oohhhh but they WILL. They are working on it RIGHT NOW."
Gracie: "WHY would they?? WHY?"
George: "Because I'm the GOOD one. Everyone wants a ME. EVERYONE."
Gracie: "That's just cuz they don't KNOW you."
George: "Yeah, but it'll be too late by the time they realize it. Also, it's cuz I'm smart. VERY smart. And they need me to rule the world. They NEED my knowledge."
Gracie: *Realizing that he won't accept that cloning isn't in his near future, gracie switches tactics* "WHY am I in charge of saving you?"
George: "'Cause I can't ALWAYS be watching. You can see 'em coming when I'm busy n' shit."
Gracie: "Yeah, that's too much responsibility for me. Especially since IT WILL NEVER HAAAAAPPEN!!"
George: "Oohhhh it will, my friend, it WILL."
Gracie: "You're in-SANE."
George: "..."
Gracie: "..."
George: "..."
Gracie: "Fine. I'll shooooot the faaaarrrrterrrrr. what. EVER!"
George: *in a voice that implies severe brain cramping* "NYYYYYOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Gracie: "Heee"
George: "You're going to get me KILLED. WHY don't you care that they're going to come out of the woodwork to slay me?!!?"
Gracie: "But they WOULDN'T DO THAT, ya freak. They NEED you. And besides...what if something goes wrong with one of the Non-Yous? They might need to make a NEW George! They'll keep you around, honey, TRUST me!"
George: "No they WON'T."
Gracie: "Suuuuure they will!"
George: "Nuh-UH! All they need is my HAIR and they can just get all they need in one swoop. TODAY, even! I haven't SHAVED in FOREVERRRRR!"
Gracie: "Nahhhh. They can't clone a Full George with just your hair, babe. They need...like...plasma n' shit."
George: *looks at her like she's incredibly stupid and he will LOSE his LIFE because of it*
Gracie: "Look. I just don't feel comfortable killing all these people, okay? Even if they ARE you. I've done enough bad stuff. This? Is a karma I don't NEED, dude."
George: *Sighs* "Figures. NOW she gets morals."
Gracie: "...and especially if they're all nice n' stuff. I just...I don't feel good about that."
George: "THIS IS MY LIFE we're talking about. JUST SHOOT THE NICE ONE, Jesus."
Gracie: "tsk. WHY would I shoot someone who's being NICE to me??"
George: "'Cause he's just bein' NICE to get to ME."
Gracie: "Yeah, I dunno. I can't really say I'd resist the "nice" babe...."
George: "Guess who he's comin' after next, missy...when he's done with me? huh? HUH? THAT'S right! WITNESSES!"
Gracie: "iiii...you know, wouldn't watch, then."
George: "Bitch."
Gracie: "Okay, well...how bout this, then: I'll KILL him, but...not right away. I'll soak up a little nice...let him think he's GOT me where he WANTS me, but I'll" and I thrust my hand out in a STOP motion "STOP it from going too FAR. 'kay??"
George: "NO!"
Gracie: "C'mon! I kin do it. Just...how long do I have, ya think? Like, how long will he be nice to me before he goes lookin' for a WHACKIN'?"
George: "Hmmm. How long do ya think I'M gonna wait till I call 911 when YOU'RE having a SEIZURE??"
Gracie: *Ignores George's question* "Would he still be nice to me AFTER he offed ya?"
George: *Ignores Gracie's question* "tsk. Battlestar gaLACTICA's on!!! You'll be okay...." *Pats Gracie's arm, still in the 'not callin 911 to save your friggin' LIFE' mode "...nyyyyoooo honey I really AM cookin' toast! (meaning: ignore that smell. Nothing is wrong. At ALL. ...die, bitch, DIE)
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Someone Arrived Here Searching For:
does acne on girls bother guys [If it does? Then that's not someone who deserves your time, honey]
crystal meth teeth
girls farting mp3 [how do you validate that the sound is female?? Nevermind. NEVERMIND.]
"what a poop" movie line
funny colonoscopy pics [I speak from experience when I say that there is NOTHING funny about a tube up your ass]
snot eating girls
song "mama's boobs"
"hold it" "restroom" traffic
love nicknames american [these just slay me. same with 'biker nicknames'. Because you just SO belong doing that which you have to look up nicknames for on the Internet....]
crappy things about america [ohh well...wow. let's see. the money. yeah, the money sucks. oh and all that stupid freedom. that BITES...oh there's so much more....!]
snotty coworkers
a black dude screwed my wife help
smell of pantyhose [I prefer the smell of insanity]
"instant gratification takes too long" [words that will be engraved in my tombstone. or that you can get HERE in my store!]
doctor hit knee nothing happens reflex
hiccup porn [good GRIEF you people are weird]
deaf girls in porn [do they use sign language for all the moaning and horrible plot lines???]
dominatrix fart [is that her Safe Word??]
lick my tushy [Nope.]
peeing outside
peeing outside [yep. twice in a row. both times my site showed up and both times they clicked on it. Hmmmm]
dork girls porn
panty pooping closet
braniac nurse [see...I like these way better than the ones about hating their patients....]
drunk sister pictures [again...WHY the specifics?? As though the person being an AUNT would change your enjoyment of it? As though you can verify the relationship of the drunkard??]
"eating her shit"
pics of the smell of freedom [seriously??]
porkin
"why are men so dumb" [there aren't enough keys on a keyboard nor hours in a day....]
"pool fully dressed" [some of 'em aren't fall-down-funny, I know, but...it's these that baffle me. The need to know the story behind the search and...the torture of knowing that wish shall never be fulfilled....]
angst the family tree [hahaha. Well...it FORKS, that's about all I can tell ya!]
poisonous brat
i hear scratching and chewing in my attic [KILL IT!!!]
judith light nipples [please PLEASE seek therapy!]
her beerbelly
--gracie note: you would not BELIEVE how many ass-related searches I get. Soooo many I can't publish, both for future search reasons and to save your senses. Trust me. I would just like to say that I am BAFFLED by the things you want to do TO and WITH your asses--
"star 94 sucks" [i know. and George loses his MIND over how p*ssy-whipped Steve McCoy is. I always die a little when Mr. McCoy steps onto the ice during a home hockey game promo. Cause I know a George rant's a'comin'....]
sex legless pictures women nude
getting dressed for a hockey game [I SAW HOSSA IN HIS SHORTS!!! heeeee]
"angry monkey love" [say it with me now! "Is there ANY OTHER KIND??"]
"sausage fucking" [aaaaand, the question above NO LONGER APPLIES.]
sex skydiving orgasm cute [cute? ...CUTE???]
can squirrels climb down a window ledge [those wily bastards can do ANYTHING. ANYTHING I TELL YA!! *walks away muttering angrily* ..... ..... ....Okay, I'm back...]
rude hockey sayings
humans tickling babies with feathers [as opposed to....WHAT? GIRAFFES tickling babies with feathers?? what the HELL!? Do they even HAVE Google on Mars!?]
my husband likes enemas
penis on backward
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