I had to work quite a bit last night, and since George was upstairs on his computer, I had control of the television remote. Of course there wasn't anything on. So I chose Bridget Jones's Diary on TBS. It was fine for background noise, and it does have some funny parts. I made the mistake, however, of looking up while a commercial was playing. It was for tbs.tv and I can't recall why the words were flying on and off the screen, something about 'who in your family would love our shows??' or something dorky like that, but one of the words that flew by was 'dads' only it wasn't spelled that way (as would be correct) oh no. It was spelled with an apostrophe. On television. A large network corporation like TBS can't manage to spell DADS correctly? You gotta be kidding me. Apostrophes denote contractions (don't, can't, shouldn't) or possession, meaning the item in question belongs to that person (e.g., Gracie's irritation)

So of COURSE I wrote to the television station. Duh.

Here's what I wrote:

"I'm a bit surprised that nobody proofread the commercial for tbs.tv that ran tonight during the Bridget Jones's Diary showing. The fact that someone put an apostrophe in the word 'dads' (shown on your commercial as dad's) is quite disappointing, as it's grossly grammatically incorrect."

Yeah, I know...pretty lame, but if *I* don't write, well who WILL?

I'll let you know the outcome (though, if it's anything like writing to radio personalities, I'll soon learn what life-threatening ailment the TBS-Commercial-Grammar-Checker-Dude is currently battling.)

One of my many goals in this life is to gross my mother out as often and as nastily as I possibly can. Yes, I'm aware that this is a childish goal, but watching the mixture of disgust and hilarity on her face, especially as she tries to hide the fact that such nastiness amuses her...well, it's just a treat, I tell ya.

The last really good one (good to me = when someone laughs so hard they cry) was something about Santa and fornication, and included movements and sounds identical to those heard in the movie Nell. Since it had been a while, I felt it was high time to freshen up the Disgust-Mom-o-Meter.

So we're at my brother and Shatonya's house for Father's Day and I am at the kitchen table with Shattie and mom and we're talking and joking and making fun of our husbands when I feel it necessary to explain to my 2 chat-mates that I had a dream about my father the night previous. And not just any dream, oh no, why would I be SANE AND NORMAL? No no, I dreamt that he and I were dating. I KNOW! That's bad enough to discuss but I take it one step farther. Yeah, I had to. Shattie was trying to ease my mind telling me that men dream of their mothers in much the same way, and it simply means that we have a connection, or I admire him, or any number of things meant to calm my nerves over such an inappropriate dream. My mother said something funny and I then asked "Oh terrific! So does this mean I'm going to dream about lickin' mom's nipple tonight, then??"

See, I realize now that I went too far over a line there, but at the time I couldn't stop laughing. And you wouldn't have either if you'd seen both their faces. Course, the party ended right about then and everyone left, but not without many comments being made as to what a sick and twisted bitch I truly am. Shatonya actually fired me from her September wedding, and no, I haven't stopped apologizing yet. To give you an idea how mean my soon-to-be-sister-in-law is, I will share with you an email exchange from yesterday morning. The backstory is that, a few weeks ago, she sent me a cartoon and mentioned how very much like her and my brother this cartoon was:

I came across it yesterday and sent it back to her. Here is the email exchange:

Gracie: "This cracks me up every time I see it."

Shatonya: "Sicko - don't email me."

Nice, eh? I'm so loved.

Joey's Link o' the Day: I Gave My Cat an Enema. The story isn't nearly as bad as the title implies. Plus, the picture at the bottom of the page makes it all worth it.

Someone Arrived Here Searching For: does the pee-pee dance work because I need it now [ Site Meter TOTALLY needs to start including drugs in their packages. I simply cannot handle searches such as this without the aid of chemicals. ]

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