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So we saw Spiderman 2 the other night and I must say that it was fan-freakin-tastic. I didn't think that they could improve upon the first one, but I was pleasantly surprised. The fact that I loved this movie so much is evidenced by the fact that I didn't leave the theater to pee even once during the whole movie. Therefore, I give Spiderman 2 an overwhelming 4 Pee Shivers!
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So the other morning on the way to work, I was complaining loudly about my newly acquired mosquito bites. Since we've agreed not to smoke in the house anymore (as part of our new technique of slowly quitting smoking for the bazillionth time) we are now smoking out on the back deck and, thanks to the Southern climate and the presence of the pool, we are now snacks for the insects. So again, I was bitching and scratching and George decides he has an idea. Yep.
George: "I just can't believe that nobody has yet used it as a torture method."
Gracie: "Used what as a torture method?"
George: "Well mosquitos, naturally."
Gracie: "Naturally!"
George: "Well, yeah! I mean think about it! You put a naked man in a small room and unleash a few hundred mosquitos in there with him? Dude. THAT would be some PAIN!"
Gracie: *Laughs*
George: "No seriously! And then, they strap him onto a table, making sure his arms are secured, and then you could have a guard occasionally stroll by and scratch him juuuuust a little bit and he could be all 'See? SEE what it could be like?? If ya just talked, you could be SCRATCHIN' by now!' it would TOTALLY work!"
Gracie: "The military sure screwed the pooch not snatchin' YOU up, buster!"
George: "Tell me about it."
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So I had my consult with the Butt-Cam doc prior to Friday's colonoscopy party. Before the doctor came into the room, though, I did the typical deal where you speak with the doctor's assistant first and describe the issues, answer questions, etc. This was particularly joyful for me as the doctor's assistant was a guy. A hot guy. A hot guy who was at LEAST 10 years younger than I am. What's more, I got to chat with him about my POOP. Ohhhh, will the fun never end?
Once Hot Assistant Guy finally put me out of my misery and left the room, I had a chance to survey the cabinets and made note of the labels on the cabinet doors that described the contents of each. Here they are...draw your own conclusions, but I will say that it's not at ALL comforting:
- Biohazzard bags (they spelled it that way...which doesn't calm me in the least)
- K.Y. Jelly
- Probe Covers
- Tape
- Alcohol
- Band-aids
- Xylocaine
- Gloves
- Sheets
- Pillow cases
- Depends
Sounds like a great 4th date, eh??
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Glenn's Bizarre Link o' the Day: (Glenn's words below)
I have a new hero. But if I ever meet him, I won't shake his hand.
http://www.testclear.com/urine/dave.htm
No, ma'am. Not even a quick 'high-five'.
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Someone Arrived Here Searching For: can you go bowling at 5 months pregnant? [ Yes, but only if you swear that you'll use the special blow-up bumpers.]
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