Diet Boosting Sight of the Day: A very small chinese man with a very large nose, sitting at a stoplight in his car digging his way back to China by way of his nostrils. Oh, but it gets better: he not only examined the Big Booger O' Joy, but he then WIPED them on his STEERING WHEEL.

Funniest line heard in a long, loooong time: "He was on you like ugly on an Osborne"

Song lyric(s) that irritate the HELL out of me each and every time I hear it: "Tight pants, points hollerin' out...blah blah blah...and points all her own, sittin' way up high...Way up firm 'n high"

I'd love to go into detail as to WHY this song offends me so, but I don't feel like it.

I was working the other night, and had the television on for background noise. I wanted something on that I wouldn't be likely to 'get into' so I could get my work done. So I put it on E! for the 101 Most Dumbass Shocking Moments of Dumbass Celebrities. I wasn't really listening until....Lil' Kim of the I Must Hang A Breast Out Where Ever I Go So People Won't Know I Have No Talent was asked to comment on Aliyah's death, and she said "It's just a very unfortunately sad thing."

As opposed to a very FORTUNATELY sad thing? Christ people irk me.

On the way into work the other day, George and I were listening to a radio show where they were discussing breast implants. As we were walking into the building, George had an epiphany:

George: Dude, they need to re-engineer women's bodies.

Gracie: Oh god. Here it comes.

George: They need to make it so that one breast produces milk for the babies, and the other breast produces COOL WHIP for the MEN!

Gracie: Yeah, right. THAT would last. More like one breast for babies and one breast for beer.

George: MMMmmmm, Beeeeer

Gracie: And it SO wouldn't stop there. Two months, and they'd be all 'We need STRAWS attached to these! All this bendin' over's too much WORK! Make 'em like those beer hats with the straws that wrap around your face!'

George: Mmmmmmm, beeeeeer

Someone Arrived Here Searching For: Things I would never buy [Ed. Note: Why...why...why...why...WHY would you search for THIS?]

Search WWW Search AmericanAngst.com

^ back to top

Get a "DING MY FRIES ARE DONE" Mug!