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So I haven't yet watched the Idol results show (update on that below). We tivo it so we can fast forward through the annoying parts (namely: the idiotic singing of a contestant we DIDN'T LIKE ENOUGH TO KEEP!!!), so here are my comments instead on the Anna Nicole Smith debacle (which is a continuation from my entry earlier today):
I was quite surprised after the decision was read. Didn't think I could be more shocked than hearing a judge SOB while reading his own decision (in PROBATE court fer chrissake) but there was more to come. Turns out that the Bickering Threesome had one more bombshell to drop: About half an hour after the circus sideshow ended, the outdoors press conference began and it consisted of ALL THREE (Howard K., Larry Birkhead, and Virgie Arthur) presenting a united front, agreeing to work together and not to fight so much anymore. After all that...after the fighting, the circus, the accusations and craziness, and--worst of all--letting Anna's body disintegrate into a rotten MESS, NOW they decide to forge ahead as one cohesive unit? This is so bizarre...the whole damned thing.
What also bugged me about the after-court-interview, aside from the obvious, was in Howard K. Stern's speech patterns when he spoke at the beginning of this impromptu conference. He was trying to say something about how he was pleased that Anna would be with her son, finally, and that's all he wanted. And he did the same thing here that he's done all throughout the last few weeks when giving speeches and when coupled with his complete inability to make eye contact with anyone (which drives me IN.SANE.) really diminishes his credibility because it all sounds so rehearsed and scripted. This speech pattern I'm speaking of is his typical deliver-sentence-stop-deliver-rehearsed-sniffle-stop-speak-again action. He does it every time and after every couple of words. He'll say three words, then fake-sniffle. I don't even know if he knows he's doing it. So many other people do this, too, and I doubt they ALL have colds or that they're all trying to imply that they're crying when they aren't. Or maybe I just don't want to believe that they're that calculating and horrible. I dunno. I also hate that I can't NOT notice these things. Friggin' OCD. It's always in a tragic situation too. Like Laci Peterson. Her mother did the every-few-words-stop-and-sniffle when giving her very long and angry speech about Scott Peterson (can't recall if it was before it was 'known' that Scott was the killer, but still) ...it was this impassioned speech of a grieving mother and I couldn't begin to imagine her pain and horror and how gut-wrenching her ordeal has been and always would be. But when she spoke, I wanted to be moved, to feel each word the way she intended them and to cry for her and her loss and to seethe with rage against her son-in-law and yet...I could not be completely sucked into the emotion of it because every few seconds she would stop to sniffle, with much force, even though she wasn't crying. It was like a tic. I know she was going through something awful, but she was speaking to the killer of her daughter and was full of electric rage and fury, there were no tears or crying, she was LIVID, as she should have been, but the sniffles were ...odd and too patterned for my idiotic OCD-laden mind not to notice and count and wonder over. And Howard keeps doing it now too.
Shuddup. I do NOT need medication.
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Ohhh look...something else to piss Gracie off. I'd just like to know how long it's going to be until people stop the ridiculous action of standing behind a newsperson on the scene of some big event while on a cell phone and acting like they tooootally don't know they're on camera. Where they don't think can see through them acting all 'nonchalant' (snort) while on the phone asking friends and family, "Do ya SEE ME!? What about NOW? I'm waving and jumping up and down and flinging my hair to and FRO and poking my BOOBS out and I keep walking off camera, then I pivot, then I WALK BACK BY!! SEE ME NOW!?" It's ridiculous. If you are someone who does this? Please hear me: you look like morons. Especially when it has to do with someone having DIED A TRAGIC and premature DEATH. Jesus. STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!
God. The news guy is even trying to get away from them by walking the other way and the morons (two of whom are roughly 70 and TALKING LOUDLY about a foot behind this guy who's CLEARLY doing an on-camera report and they look mentally deficient, quite frankly) and even though he is trying to move away from them, making a POINT, these assclowns keep following the camera. ugh. I hate people. Truly.
Here are a few pictures...of half a dozen people perpetrating this very activity.
Don't worry. I've already approved the specs for my Hell's Cubicle furnishings.
I hear they're fluffin' my pillows Down There riiiiight about now. S'okay.
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Ohhh it makes me SO happy that the news people and legal experts and attorneys are ALL saying EXACTLY what I said about the judge, the laws, the results, the behavior! Soooo feeds into my genius-in-hiding theory! I = Smart, don'tchaknow.
I'd also like to say thank you to those of you who wrote in agreeing with me and/or providing links proving my points! I'll try to get your notes posted in the next day or three.
Quick note: Check the store over the next few days. I'm going to have a few products up in honor of this whole ANS mess.
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While formatting the above content and pictures, enough time passed and we watched the Idol results show and I was giddy when I saw the results!
Was I right or was I right? Or was I right...? Heh. Yay me.
Ohhh, and don't EVEN bring up Fantasia's bizarre performance.
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Someone Arrived Here Searching For:
it hurts when i poop what's wrong
does acne on girls bother guys
crystal meth teeth
girls farting mp3 [how do you validate that the sound is female?? Nevermind. NEVERMIND.]
"what a poop" movie line
funny colonoscopy pics [I speak from experience when I say that there is NOTHING funny about a tube up your ass]
snot eating girls
song "mama's boobs"
"hold it" "restroom" traffic
love nicknames american [these just slay me. same with 'biker nicknames'. Because you just SO belong doing that which you have to look up nicknames for on the Internet....]
crappy things about america [ohh well...wow. let's see. the money. yeah, the money sucks. oh and all that stupid freedom. that BITES...oh there's so much more....!]
snotty coworkers
a black dude screwed my wife help
smell of pantyhose [I prefer the smell of insanity]
doctor hit knee nothing happens reflex
hiccup porn [good GRIEF you people are weird]
deaf girls in porn [do they use sign language for all the moaning and horrible plot lines???]
dominatrix fart [is that her Safe Word??]
lick my tushy [Nope.]
peeing outside
peeing outside [yep. twice in a row. both times my site showed up and both times they clicked on it. Hmmmm]
dork girls porn
panty pooping closet
braniac nurse [see...I like these way better than the ones about hating their patients....]
drunk sister pictures [again...WHY the specifics?? As though the person being an AUNT would change your enjoyment of it? As though you can verify the relationship of the drunkard??]
"eating her shit"
pics of the smell of freedom [seriously??]
porkin
"why are men so dumb" [oh, pumpkin. there aren't enough keys on a keyboard nor hours in a day....]
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