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Can't remember if I told y'all this or not, but the Cancer Sayings products at my cafepress store are doing incredibly well. And each time I receive an email notifying me of another sale, my heart breaks a little because it means that one more person has had to go through this hell. The same hell that killed my grandmother and my grandfather, ravaged the insides of relatives I love and when one of the items sold is a children's item? Ohhhhh, ouch. It just kills me. And I know that I said I would donate a portion of all sales to cancer research, but you know what? No. Not a portion. I absolutely cannot profit even one iota from someone else's pain and suffering. It's not right. I don't care how long it took to make the graphics or buy the software or whatever blah blah blah. ALL profits are going to cancer research. All of it. Whatever cafepress doesn't take for their own production costs? I'm not keeping. I pray that the money will contribute to a cure. I pray that your suffering was minor. But I know for certain that I'm not keeping a cent of the money you spend on those items.
If you're blessed not to have a need for any of those products, why not take a moment and contribute to the cure? Click Here.
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Oh my GOD, I am SUCH a happy girl these days! Of course, I had to wait until today to make this statement because my body noticed the stress flee from my body once my transfer to a new department went through and it apparently had a conversation with itself that went something along the lines of "Huh. She, uh, she seems...what's the word...relaxed all of a sudden. This is NEW. It's been three years since she's been this calm and happy. Hhhhhey! It must be VACATION! And we know what THAT means, right fellas??** That's correct! It means Time to Get Sick! Launch germs! Launch chest congestion! Launch sneezing and watering eyes! Woohoo!!"
So I've been sick for the last week and am only today starting to feel something close to normal again. Nice, huh? My first week on the job (well...new department...new managers, etc...same diff) and I end up being out for all but one and a half days. SUPER impression that made, I'm sure. Anyway, they were very understanding (and I still did the work, so they didn't lose out, luckily) and all is well now and I could NOT be happier. Yay!!
**Also, I have NO idea why my body is comprised of male germs and generals. I never claimed to be normal...in case you were wondering. ;-)
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To the people who've written recently asking me what ever came of my Perfume Stained Shirt Debacle....
Nothing. I received loads of wonderful advice that I put to the side intending to not only use it on my pretty purple silk shirt, but also to post it to the site eventually and ...forgot aaaaall about it. I apologize. If you are in need of advice for this issue, please scroll down to read the suggestions. I just left the shirt alone for a while, took it the dry cleaners a week or three later and all seems fine. Hell, it could still be stained for all I know. My memory is so crappy that I have forgotten all about it and didn't look at the spot again after I posted that entry. I could be walking around wearing the shirt --stained-- and people are all staring and feeling sorry for me and I'm so clueless that I'm thinking they're staring cause I have SUCH a pretty hair-do that day, or because I did a particularly good job on my makeup that morning. Yep, ignorance is bliss, babes.
Here are the suggestions sent in by faithful (and resourceful!) readers:
Joan wrote:
Hi Gracie,
I come from a long line of stain removal experts and here is what I would
do:
- Get a bar of white Dial soap (I KNOW nobody uses bar soap anymore, but just do it)
- Get the bar wet, rub a good smear on the stains
- Toss the blouse alone in your washer on cold using the shortest, most delicate cycle. Use TIDE, don't waste your money on anything else.
- Hang the blouse to dry and take to the cleaners for pressing or (GASP),
- iron it yourself.
There ya go. Cheap and effective. No need for thanks.
P.S., I used to take my favorite silk blouse to the cleaners all the time. I am a moron. The dry cleaning process literally shredded the fabric. Wash it yourself and have them press it. You'll have it for a long time.
Thank you, Joan! I plan to try this the next time I do something stupid to my clothing (which should be soon, of course) but I will have to substitute the Tide for something else, as I am wicked allergic to Tide...break out in angry blister-like hives over my entire body when I just WALK by it, let alone use it. Ack.
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Kate suggested:
Gracie-
Sounds like a mess. I have found that Era Plus removes just about anything
oil based. Since the blouse is silk, I would say to hand wash it in Era
Plus, rinse well, and air dry. Or wash on gentle cycle in a lingerie bag
with Era Plus and air dry. It's worth a shot, right?
If you choose the hand wash option, be sure to wear gloves because Era
Plus is pretty strong and can make your hands itchy and gross. (My brother
found this out many years ago the hard way)
Good luck!
I would also check the instructions on the bottle to see if it says "do
not use on silk". Not to insult your intelligence, just that I haven't
memorized the instructions and cautions of an Era Plus bottle.
Thanks for all the laughs!
Kate
Excellent, thanks Kate!
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Next is a humorous anecdote from Jennifer:
Okay, something similar happened to me 7+ years ago. It was coffee on my new cream colored silk shirt. My idiot thought it would be hilarious to scare me while I was holding my very creamy, very sweet coffee (I say this because the dry cleaner asked specifically what was in the coffee...like it mattered.) Anywho, my idiot suggested I dunk the entire shirt in the coffee...it couldn't hurt if it was ruined. I reluctantly agreed. After getting it soaked in coffee I sealed it in a zippy bay with as little air as possible to keep it from drying and that's how it was delivered to the dry cleaners. Needless to say, I'm not sure if you held it up against a new one if you could tell, but I couldn't. My idiot also did this trick years earlier when he worked in a Taco Bell and wore his new Newbuck Bass shoes to work (after his Mommy told him not to.) After working the fryer that day he noticed some spatters of grease on them. Knowing his Mom would scalp him, he dunked the pair into the hot grease only for a few seconds (like the time they were in there mattered,) drained them, let them cool and wore them a few days later after they aired out. I was personally grossed the heck out and won't eat at either Taco Bell in Jacksonville, Texas to this day.
So that's my suggestion, and good luck. Can't wait to hear how it turns out.
Jennifer D.
P.S. I adore your site; I check it daily (no pressure.) You rock and you're the kind of people I would want as neighbors. Thanks again!
Thanks, Jennifer! I'll be checking real estate options in your neck o' the woods soon! You don't mind barking dogs, barking George, and neighbors who forget to cut their grass, right? Mwwwaaa-hahaha. ;-)
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Marcia's contribution:
Hey Gracie!!!
Your site is great as usual. Anyway, I noticed your silk blouse had a perfume issue. I was cruising the Tide website hoping to find something for you. Go to www.tide.com and type in the search engine "Perfume Stain" and it brought up a possible remedy.
Hope that helps!!
Marcia
Thank you, Marcia. I'll leave the link to others just in case their website breaks my body out in itchy-nastiness.
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Wendy had this to say:
Well, I'm a bit late...as usual. Try Spray and Wash Oxi action something or other--very helpful, aren't I? It's a pink and white bottle that has 2 separate sides that combine when you squeeze the bottle. This stuff works on all kinds of stains. Got out red wine from my favorite Christmas t-shirt. I'm a geek, I know!
Squirt the stuff on your stain...let sit for a bit, but don't let dry...3 minutes or so. Then hand wash with woolite OR your favorite detergent in a small amount.
I have been hand washing my own silk shirts for years and have never had a problemo.
Hope this helps,
Wendy
Thanks, Wendy. And I agree about the spray and wash solution...I've used it on other items and it works wonders.
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William's mix of help and humor is just my kind of recipe:
I cannot tell you the mixture, as I do not know it!!!
Use your own judgment (I don't think it matters anyway)
get you a bottle of lemon juice, and some baking soda....
The lemon will work as a stain lifter, while baking soda will absorb the stain....
or, you could just set the motherfucker on fire!!!! (more fun)
later
Ahhh, William. You know my husband, don't you??
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Gloria contributed this info:
Gracie,
You might want to try "Dawn" dishwashing liquid. You rub a good amount in between your fingers, then on both sides of the stain. When you're done, throw the shirt in a sink full of warm water for about 30 minutes, then rinse and hang dry. It's a miracle worker. If you find something else to work better, I would love to know.
By the way, I'm a new fan of your website and I'm soooo enjoying your view on life. Great job!
Luck to you and your silk shirt...
Gloria
Thanks Gloria! For the helpful hint AND the kind words!
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Our final suggestion comes to us from Keni, who plans to make me famous one day (and I'm SO holding her to it!):
Okay...you are gonna think I'm nuts...BUT...try spit. Yes...no shit...spit.
Do you remember back in the 70s or 80s when those silk jackets were all the thing? Well, my daughters HAD to have them. So they each got a
pink silk jacket for Christmas. Within a week one of them had gotten some liquid on it that stained. I try everything including the cleaners. But the cleaners (money was an issue) was the last thing I tried. Still had the stain. I have no idea why, but I spit on a washrag and rubbed the stain right away! Yes I cleaned it again afterwards because my daughter was grossed out...but happy. Since then, in my family, "mother's spit" became the joke for anything that couldn't get done. Someone would always say "MOM...spit on it!" And it actually worked sometimes. I think it's an enzyme thing.
Keni (the actress who will someday use your stuff for a monologue)
Thanks Keni and everyone else who tried to help my sorry ass!
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If you don't see your suggestion here (or if you have a suggestion) please Email Me and I will add it here. Thanks to everyone who submitted helpful (and funny) suggestions. I'm sorry it took me so long to post them. Hope they help someone else (since I was too forgetful to do them myself!)
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