Isn't that beautiful?? Thanks again, both to Susan, who trusted us with her situation, as well as to the many thoughtful readers who sent along their stories, suggestions, and encouragement. You guys rock!

Most recent odd phrase uttered by The Kiddo, for no particular reason (and which caused my eye to twitch for upwards of an hour):

"I like my beer like i like mah wimmin, lassy! stout uhn BITT-URR!!"

Let's recall that The Kiddo is just shy of 18, doesn't drink, and was NOT asked a question, least of all about BEER.

Quick pimping action: Don't forget to order your funny and unique Christmas cards! We have non-denominational, Jewish, and many rude n' crude ones, too! (Some of which were sent to friends and family members last year!) Check them out here at the ShopAngst Holiday Store.

Don't forget to order your yard signs, big buttons, bumper stickers, or general merchandise for your favorite political party or candidate (we have created products for every single presidential candidate, as well as funny political statements and symbols!) as the 2008 election is already ramping up. Visit our VoteMyWay shop today!

Check out all the new items (we've been hard at work and have added over a hundred new designs) at ShopAngst.com

We now return you to your regular scheduled programming!

Every time i see Ty Pennington's commercial for Bayer aspirin, I can't help but comment, regardless of whether I'm alone or in a crowded room. Each time he holds up the bottle and says "This is how I unstick my back!" I follow it with "along with a vodka chaser and quick ride around town!"

**Note: see...it's because he was arrested for drunk driving n' all.

George lovingly bought us some early Christmas presents (read: bitchin' laptops) and we've been hanging out together a lot more lately. He with his...me with mine. He games...I work on work and on the store and on entries and answering all your truly wonderful emails.

His gaming includes wearing a headset and something I think he calls "TeamTalk" where he and his friends meet up and talk to each other while they Fight the Forces of Evil in their game. I do my best not to give him crap about the funny terms and phrases they use (for instance, I learned that it was Not Okay to snicker n' snort over a recent occurrence where he said he had to hurry cause he was on a "Five Minute Bio Break" and was, in fact, serious...despite my assumptions to the contrary) and he does his best not to give me crap for being a workaholic who can't stop ...yanno... working.

Since he wears his headset (and since I often talk to myself) we've learned to tune each other out for the most part. We're so sad (read: pathetic and uber-focused on our own stuff) that we actually had to develop a system where we'd know, without a doubt, when one of us was addressing the other (it's called Touching On the Arm). Which is why the following exchange went by unnoticed:

George: *giving direction to someone in his game* "Hit the star. Take out the purple."

Gracie: *clearly having NO idea what the hell any of that means, she nods her head and says...* "Words to live by."

Upon which ...she was promptly ignored.

Interesting sight: we recently took a road trip to Memphis for our five-year wedding anniversary (have Elvis marry you in Vegas...visit his house in five years!) and, on the way home, Gracie rilly rilly hadda pee. We'd been stuck on the highway in Way-the-Hell-Up-There North Georgia for hours due to a fatal accident, so by the time we snuck onto the emergency shoulder and rode up to a nearby exit, I was dizzy with bladder-ache. (You're welcome!) Since there was no way I was going to make it to our in-law's house an hour away and since the previous stop (a nasty McDonald's whose bathroom was so filthy that I am ashamed to be a woman) was filled with roughly 342 fellow accident-neighbors-who-also-snuck-off-the-highway-exit, George was nice enough to drive around and find me a Cracker Barrel.

Let me just tell you, you haven't quite lived until you've done the odd Pee Skip with Knees Almost Together from the car (which may or may not still be moving as you hop out) to the "restaurant" entrance, but it becomes more troubling when your need is interrupted by a desperate desire to stop and study the scene you're currently passing during your Skip O' Pee: no less than a dozen certifiable, no-shit, folded-bandana-wearing, weapons-bulging-in-pants, murderous-looks-on-their-faces, Gang Members waiting outside (of the C-R-A-C-K-E-R   B-A-R-R-E-L) for their names to be called ("Bloods, party of 15, Bloods? Your table is ready! Come n' gitcher grits!"), made all the more eye-twitching and study-worthy when you add in the fact that they were in rocking chairs and playing checkers. I almost forgot to pee and wanted instead to stop n' watch and take notes and pictures. But my own desire to LIVE (and...you know...PEE) got the better of me.

But don't think I didn't furiously text message George from the potty!

Someone Arrived Here Searching For:

dog lick tits

free christmas cards to a grandson from a deceased grandmother

why i need boobs

"my mother nude" google.fr [aaaahh the french.]

translate gatito de sexo to english [heee. Enter the phrase at BabelFish and choose "From Spanish to English" if you'd like to see for yourself]

bee-yotch meaning

amarikan english learn

fuckaroo.org

why does tea make me pee so much? [ohhhh, how I wish I knew! Everyone says it's because of the caffeine, but all my decaf tea does it to me, too. And no other beverages affect me like that, so it's not a medical issue. And WHY am I talking to you like you're actually here and we're having a real conversation???]

asiaslut

the pimp look

srewmywife [*here's what I imagine he was thinking* "INEEDMYPORN! I HAVE NO TIME FOR THE LETTER C!"]

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