I'm drafting several new entries, as we just returned from a week-long vacation and I have SO MUCH to tell you! I also have GOT to discuss more Paula Insanity, too, so bear with me.
In the meantime....
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Wanna know why I've been gone so long? I mean, aside from the vacation? Why I work long hours and I'm too tired sometimes to spend another several hours doing entries at night? I'll show you. I normally keep work out of my entries, and I've removed any identifying information, so hopefully I won't get into trouble (knock my head o' wood) but I had to show you just why I sometimes have to deprive you of the joy that is me (hey, if PAULA can refer to herself as a freakin' GIFT?? Then so can I, baby!).
To explain my role somewhat, I take technical issues, clean up the grammar and developer-speak and turn them into items that the general public can understand and use. I create the steps, give real-world examples, make it readable and easy to understand, include screen shots where applicable, etc., etc., yada yada yada. I'm used to receiving very little information, fleshing it out and turning it into very LOTS. I feel it's my job, I enjoy it very much, and I have some measure of skill in doing so (though I'm certainly not an expert...and though apparently I DO feel as though I'm interviewing for a job right now for some reason. Sorry). However, as much as I love my job, sometimes I just have to smash my forehead repeatedly into the F9 key. This is one of those times.
Here is the email exchange between me and George, who worked at my company for close to ten years, and who received my plaintive wail earlier this afternoon. I'm doing it this way cuz his response = funny too:
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From: Gracie
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2007 3:48 PM
To: George
Subject: see????
i'm going to kill people soon. see below (keeping in mind that the items are all separate issues and are not related at ALL):
- When window has serious problem that need terminate browser, it is obviously the parent would be terminated for the safest reason.
- When we remove this then the user forgot to re-install that it is not a very properly process.
- This alway uses that and it doens't care about setting x
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From: George
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2007 3:53 PM
To: Gracie
Subject: see????
Chinese belly pig meet paper phone to deck of cards.
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From: Gracie
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2007 3:59 PM
To: George
Subject: see????
I KNOW!!!!
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He make me laugh long time, Joe.
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Aaaaand some disgusting search terms to tide you over....
Someone Arrived Here Searching For:
barbara streisand tushy pants
pee on the pimples [Thanks, but I think Zapzit will do juuuuuust fine for me]
tired of forin cars [and dikshunarys?]
nude girls in sexy christmas outfits [uuummmm, won't the outfits kinda get in the way of all the nudity??]
"aunt" "lick my ass" [auuughh!! hey!! WHAT did I ever do to YOU?? Sigh. WHY are all the sicko-frickin' searches always from India??]
dunking fetish [what're you, a clown?? Or do you, like, hang out in donut shops, moaning each time coffee is defiled??]
dog vaginal pimple [oh dear GOD! You should NOT know this much about your dog!!!]
kim cattrall fucking in locker room [Good luck with THAT search. Pretty much describes EVERY Kim Cattrall role.]
sexy heary pusy [wow. this person walks free among us. think about that.]
pussy stinks pictures [again....]
amiracon indian porn stars [sound it out a few times...you'll get it. And when the HELL did MY site become the end-all, be-all for perv searches???]
is there something pronounced bedroom suit [not by SMART people. *Snobby Snort*]
super hero porn [ohhhh, for SHAME]
queen latifah big titties [Alex, I'll take "Stating the Fucking Obvious" for a thousand, please?]
angst and cigarettes
being in the vietnam [not presently. I'm being in the Amiracon right now.]
biker nicknames for women [I wish I knew why this was so funny to me. Maybe because it's just so SAD that people can't come up with names themselves...which sorta defeats the purpose of a nickname to begin with? I dunno. Juuuust spitballin' here.]
terri clark...lesbian [aaaand for $800, Al?]
faith hill tantrum after carrie underwood wins [i think it's hilarious that she got chubby cause so many people are mad at her over this. Too bad Leann Rhymes can't grab a clue, too. Snotty bitch.]
sexy randi coy
randi coy sexy
randi coy nude [3 different searches from 3 different people in 3 different countries within 30 minutes of each other. All for this same thing...and she was one chick from a reality show about six years ago. So odd.]
graci granny porn [Noooooooo!!!]
pictures of sexy people eating poop [clearly we are done here. CLEARLY]
