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I decided this year to put the Ding Fries Are Done ringtones on my OWN phone and can I just say? TOO funny. At least...the first thousand times. Now, however? I'm going to kill the next person who sends me a text message or calls and hangs up ...just cause it's funny to hear the tones from across the room! (also? It's wicked loud and scares poop out of me.)
Don't believe me? Don't care? Want them for your OWN phone? Go here: http://www.americanangst.com/dec12005.html
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Gracie: "I want some red velvet cake." (doesn't take eyes off hockey game for more than a second)
George: *Nods head* (keeps watching hockey game, not taking eyes off...period.)
Gracie: "Not right now, of course, cause I'm still quite full. But at some point tonight if you'd have that ready for me." (see, this is funny cause Gracie, for all her alleged feminism, is too old-fashioned to let George bake things. I feel like it's...well, not my JOB, per se, but...a gift I give to him...and my butt.)
George: "Mmm-hmm. riiiight. sure."
Gracie: "Excellent. Thanks, babe."
George: "I'm makin' it for ya RIIIIIGHT now." (curiously he hasn't moved from the couch)
Gracie: (so *I* say) "Naaaaahhhhht in your PANTS!!!"
George: "Sorry. Pants Cake is aaaaall I'm offering."
Oddly enough...I no longer want cake.
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I noticed a thermometer in its case on the couch between us tonight and asked George, in essence, waddupwitdat?1
He said he had a fever. This never happens, so I tilted my head and stuck my hand out, clearly insisting on checking for myself. He willingly obliged and I found that he was, in fact, a bit warm. He said he was going to take some tylenol and go to bed early, then commenced getting up and shutting things down, and before he left the room, he did the most curious thing. He took from his diabetes testing kit an alcohol pad and? Cleaned off the tip of the thermometer. This was a polite gesture, to be sure, but...come ON. How could I NOT say something??
Gracie: "...aaaare ya KIDDIN me??"
George: "What?"
Gracie: *Gestures* "...alcohol pad?"
George: "What??"
Gracie: *raised one eyebrow*
George: "Tch. What if I'm sick? I don't want to leave GERMS on it...?"
Gracie: "OOOhhh, oh right." *Looks at watch, then gives one deep nod of exaggerated agreement* "You're right, thanks, THANKS. Cause I *WAS* just about to take my nightly temperature! Thanks!"
He then suggested an alternate method of taking my temperature...one I just don't feel comfortable sharing.
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1 (I can only pull that off in writing...and even then? MMmm, not so much.
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FYI: When purchasing a digital voice recorder, make sure to familiarize yourself with all its settings. Specifically the one called Voice Activation. Now, it probably won't get into as great detail as you'd want it to, so let me help you out: The "Voice Activation" feature? Is unable to distinguish between "voice" and "fart"
I'm just saying.
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My final gift to you today (well...almost...) is to share with you the sorts of things I get from George on a frequent basis in my inbox. They are rarely accompanied by comment or description.
Click here and be sure to have your sound turned on. It's not really "R" rated, but you still may want to at least turn it down a bit, as regardless of the tolerance level at work? You WILL get some "LOOKS" for this one. (FYI: The title isn't what it REALLY is...just so's ya know.)
You're welcome!
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Someone Arrived Here Searching For:
sing christmas comes tiny each year beach boys [hahaha. this makes it easier to take the stupidity of "comes this time each year" in the song...as though we may be confused as to when Christmas might come NEXT year.]
women eating dog poo pron [these people share oxygen with you. And sidewalks. And buses. And offices. Welcome to my world.]
"time to go to trial" bigg ringtone [are you KIDDING!? There is actually a SONG with this TITLE?! Good GOD. WHAT is the world COMING TO!?]
pantyhose prancer
nice american women ass lesbian next doors photos pictures [ww...ww...uhh...nope. I got nothin']
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Holiday Repetition (because 50,000 visitors a day can reeeeally rack up some server charges, so dohna
gimmee grief-a!):
Check out George's brilliant idea for Christmas cards and products with our new Emoticon Christmas stuffs. I've also included images from other funny Christmas gift or card ideas using our lovely brand of irreverence and humor. Stand out this season and send something FUNNY. Each of the flashing items below are links and if you put your mouse over any of the images, the slideshow will pause. (And if you can't see the images below? Go straight to [no, not HELL] our Holiday Shoppe O' Irreverence).
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