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As promised here are some emails from readers (which, if you must know--and because I'm hormonal and willing to show the slightest of emotions--make my DAY). Here are two that cracked me up and/or made me smile from the love wafting off the...email. Whatever. People don't love me like that. Here's what they send me:
This is from Joan in reference to my Road Trip List:
did you happen to notice this on the amazon page for the toilet seat covers:
10 pc. Public Potty Protectors
Other products by Classy Kid
2 used & new available from $6.95 <-----------
who wants used potty protectors??!!
Joan
This not only cracked me UP...but gotta say? It grossed me out. Do you people not realize how active my imagination IS???
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Most of the emails I get are either correcting a spelling issue, which is to be expected when someone like me bitches at the idiocy and ignorance of others. I console myself with (chocolate and...) the knowledge that I dropped out of high school (for a good reason...if you want to know, ask me) and got a GED and managed to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get out of the trailer park path I was headed for (and had lived in at several points...one of which included a trailer with at least six other people and with no kitchen floor --we had to actually slam ourselves up against the wall and skirt the ginormous hole in the floor to get to the fridge which...didn't work most of the time because we couldn't afford electricity. So we would wait till nighttime and would use a ridiculously long extension cord to BORROW power from other trailers. I don't advise or condone this...) and, with George's help, of course, (not to mention a desire to NEVER live like that again) I made my life better. His unwavering belief in me was something altogether new to me. It was quite inspiring and while I had made other leaps and advances prior to meeting him, many of which I am still very proud of, something about him made me want to be so much better. And so...I did. I took personal responsibility, in other words.
Um. Where was I? WOW, I love me, don't I? Sorry about that.
So yeah. Most of the emails I get bitch about a typo or grammatical error and I'm fine with that because for someone with my background? My ass is doin' ALL. RIGHT. Bitches.
Many of the other emails are to offer sympathy to our long-suffering George. At least the ones from guys. ...Aaaaand at least the ones who don't offer me marriage proposals and/or requests to bear my children (which...usually...come from guys as well and I just CHOOSE not to ask questions about the details. That's how I roll.)
Here is one such email...
On 7/30/2007 at 11:39 AM Francis wrote:
After seeing the looong list of stuff that you travel with (Im guessing you drive an excursion to fit all of this), I was wondering if we can get Georges list of must have things when traveling? For some reason Im thinking all of his can fit into the glove compartment :P
always looking forward to your posts
Francis
We went back and forth for a few days on this, joking around, but I had to show him mercy as I was only being sarcastic bitchy, not "real" bitchy (but forgot that he's not George and doesn't know that) and I was worried I would hurt his feelings or offend him, as I so often do. To everyone. It's the price I pay for such fame and fortune.
Quit laughing.
Feel free to add to the mix (and possibly see YOUR email up here on the site!) by sending Much Love to Gracie.
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So I've smartly (read: stupidly) taken on yet another task. I have created myself a "Squidoo lens" and I originally did it just to promote my store and my What's New page, trying to get more visitors and customers and whatnot, but they offer so many cool OTHER things to add (and it's ridiculously easy to add them and create it all) that I had to do more. It took me less than an hour to create the whole page linked above there and I didn't have to use any of my HTML knowledge. If you'd like to start a lens for yourself, you can do that by scrolling to the bottom of that page and clicking the "Build My Own" link.
And if you'd like to earn money by displaying a link to my shop on your own page or blog or wherever and/or selling my products? Meaning earning money off of EACH. SALE.? Go to my American Angst Affiliate page and sign up! It's free AND easy. (We'll be adding a slew of new banners in the near future.)
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Okay so I've taken my first step toward podcasting. I bought a digital recorder, semi-learned how to use it, and...
feel like a great big DORK using it. That's right. I feel old and out of the loop and arrogant as hell, thinking that there is anything I have to say that is so important and urgent that I can't take the time to write it down, but instead have to dive into my purse and dig out my Fancy Digital Recorder (FDR®) and...speak into it. Come ON.
This is going to be more difficult than I thought it would be and it will likely be a while before I have an actual podcast for you to listen to. But I'm trying, I am. And only for you, people. Only for YOU.
That doesn't mean I don't have somethin' ELSE for you to listen to! While performing said "trying" I have also expanded my arsenal. I purchased a wireless recording device that will attach to my Blackberry and FDR to record phone calls. Not JUST because I am plagued by crazy-ass marketing calls where they are so ruthless and relentless and BIZARRE, and even though I have taken to blowing a WHISTLE into the phone when they call? They STILL CALL. So yeah, I want to share some of those crazy calls with you, but I also need to record some business calls, as well, for my job. Since I have to record my first call tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m., and since I just bought the phone adapter this evening after WORK, I felt it best to test the device ohhhh ONCE. So I had George call me and we felt it worked fanfreakinTASTIC. However, it occurred to me soon thereafter that perhaps it isn't the best of testing environments when both people are in the same ROOM. So I sent George outside (believe me, this was SO MUCH FUN for him. Trust me.) to call me again. I have sweetly uploaded this call for your listening pleasure. It's about 30 seconds long but worth it.
And make sure you enjoy my prior entries as best you can from now on, because I will soon be sued and/or jailed. See, when I told George this morning that I was looking for such a device, we had the following email conversation and, since I promptly defied his directive, he may just enlist the guh'mint to git me:
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From: Gracie
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:18 PM
To: George
Subject: RE: recorder
I found one for mobile phones and it will work with my headset and digital recorder. Here's a link.
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From: George
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:20 PM
To: Gracie
Subject: RE: recorder
Cool, you gonna go get one? Oh and you do NOT have permission to record my voice.
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From: Gracie
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:20 PM
To: George
Subject: RE: recorder
ahhahaha, i hadn't even THOUGHT of that. but thanks!!
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From: George
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:21 PM
To: Gracie
Subject: RE: recorder
Just covering my legal bases don’tcha know.... 8^)
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From: Gracie
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:24 PM
To: George
Subject: RE: recorder
i never got this email
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From: George
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:25 PM
To: Gracie
Subject: RE: recorder
Is that why I was able to print it out and send it to my secret lawyer?.... Oooops
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From: Gracie
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:26 PM
To: George
Subject: RE: recorder
secret LAWYER!? wow. and i thought secret LOVER was bad. dude. i'm recording you just for that. deal.
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From: George
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:27 PM
To: Gracie
Subject: RE: recorder
Sad part is it’s the same guy, and both of us are getting ...Screwed
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From: Gracie
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 2:29 PM
To: 'George'
Subject: RE: recorder
[recipient did not receive any of these messages. please do not try again. she will not get it. we promise. knock it off.]
So I hope it was worth it, y'all! Regardless, once George sends me to jail and runs off with his secret lover, look for me in the Prison Personals! I'll be listed as the 400 pound circus midget.
Just like last time.
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Someone Arrived Here Searching For:
"she forced me to smell her stinky feet"
"do women like men in spandex" [defiiiiine "women"....]
i am not adverse [I am. My property taxes helped PAY for that shit.]
brett michaels with babies [bite. your. TONGUE! LawdaMERCY]
watch me masturbate in nashville [nope. only in South Dakota.]
plain ole pussy [there ya go!]
"every since" "ever since" [the differences are quite simple and I am happy to spell it out for ya: "Ever Since" is used when you wish to describe a time period, typically when lamenting something. For instance, ever since I married George...I fall down a lot. "Every since" is used when...you smoked pot instead of going to CLASS.]
my tits are just too big [waaaaaaaah]
how to deal with a stubborn girlfriend [have you tried the Falling Down treatment? Works for me!]
american classic sofa
"i'm dead inside"
"husband wants me to be slutty" [tell him YOU want 10 inches.]
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